My hero and heroine are jerking around.
They're not jerking off or jerking each other off, which I would at least be able to write my way around. No, they're jerking me around.
See, they came clean. They sat their asses down, after a couple of crises of confidence, and they admitted some things to each other about why they were behaving like dorks with one another. He talked about something deep in his past, she explained something that arrested her development as a woman and now they're on a precipice.
They don't know if they want to jump (into bed) or torture themselves on the edge for a while longer, or just take a deep breath and back away because they're afraid, they're very afraid.
I'm an idiot pantser. I don't know where I'm going until I get there. I rely on my people to tell me. And neither of them are talking. I haven't set up the scene to lead anywhere in particular. They could go any way they want (cuz, you know, the story is up to them), they just won't tell me.
There could be greater emotional closeness developed through sex that will lead to them both wanting more, but questioning if they're 'good enough' for the other. There could be greater trust developed through lack of sex that will lead to more sexual tension and questioning whether they're even wanted physically by the other. There could be a quiet, bonding nap with lots of holding and sensuality, or they could freakin' run out for dinner. Something. Anything.
Instead they're just sitting there. Marinating in each other. Feeling safe enough to share their insides, but really effing confused about what to do with their bodies. It's like every awkward high school date there ever was. Neither of them will open up to me. Neither of them will tell me "This. This right here. This is what I want."
This mini-rant has helped me though, because if they're going to act like awkward teenagers, that's what I'm going to write. Prepare for some inept fumbling, mixed messages and stunted emotional growth, kids. We're going back to high school.
Currently reading: Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me
Currently reading: Wicked Pleasures
Just about to start: In A Bind
Let Me Hear You Say This Shit Is Bananas
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