Saturday, December 27, 2008

A step away from writing.

This is alpha kitty. His name is Bobo and I've had him since 1995. Five days ago I took him to the vet because he had slowed down a lot and his breathing was congested. They told me he's in kidney failure and dying.

I was more than a bit surprised. He's had arthritis for a few years, and it's been cold, so I thought that was what was slowing him down. Not so much. If I hadn't know about the arthritis I would have acted sooner, but I just assumed that with his advancing age it was getting that much worse.

I've been watching him a lot more closely since he came home. I was barely watching him at all before. We've co-existed for so long that I just kind of expected him to take care of himself like he has been all these years. I provide food, water, and feet for him to warm. He provides warm feet, a superior attitude and a great deal of undeserved caring. Now I watch him all the time and he doesn't take advantage of the food at all, he drinks a pathetically minuscule amount of water and my feet stay cold because he doesn't want to cuddle anymore.

I give him a daily IV so he stays hydrated. I give him an antacid to help with the ulcers the vet has told me develop with this illness. None of it has helped. He stays in the same spot almost all day. He doesn't talk to me any more. He pees on the mat instead of the box. He drinks water by the thimbleful, he ignores food and he's skin and bones. He's breaking my heart.

I will have to let him go soon.
I've only had him for 13 years and 10 months.
I am not ready yet.

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